And Then She Cried...

I think I should have named my blog that. It seems I am making a great impact on my children with all the times I cry. Yesterday, Jay reminded me that when he finally triumphantly managed to pull his first tooth, which he had been working at for weeks and I was beginning to be afraid Jim or I would have to pull it for him, I cried.

That's sort of my signature in life. If I speak before a group about something that is important to me, I cry. If I watch a moment happen with my kids that I know will disapppear forever after that, I cry. If I see a friend in great personal pain, I cry for them. If I hear a great song, choir or high school band, I cry. I cry, I cry, I cry!

After I had Collin I developed postpartum depression. It was a difficult time for the whole family but eventually I asked to be placed on antidepressants, which really helped for about a year. As time went on I could sense that my body alone was regaining its normal balance. Still being on meds, I was beginning to feel almost no fluctuation in a mood at all. It became impossible to cry. That was the last straw. There is no real sense of "me" without a good cry now and again. So, I weaned myself of the meds and I was so much happier - and sadder sometimes, but in a good way.

It was just interesting hearing Jay retell the story of his tooth that way and then tell me, "Yeah, you cry a lot." As parents, I think we wonder what they are going to remember. I can tell now, this is probably going to become a running joke about mom; but I don't mind at all. At least they know how much I care, and I know they love me for that.