Friday, January 16, 2009
I have things to say today.
I have many things I want to talk about sometimes, and then I have days and days and days when I feel like I have nothing to say. Today is one of my many thoughts days. So, I am posting separate thoughts on separate dates that are not today - usually in the past. Sorry if that confuses anyone, but this is my blog and I can do that! :)
Saturday, January 3, 2009
The High Court
I came on the other day because I had some urgent thought I needed to get down here. I clicked on the blog and saw the previous post about losing my temper and it absolutely took the breath out of me. In part because the entire day/incident came racing back to me with all the remorse, and also because I hadn't realized the entry had successfully posted that day. The blog had been acting hinky and it sort of seemed poetic at the time that I wasn't being allowed to post my entry, so I had just walked away from it and not thought about it again until the other day.
Suddenly, my urgent thought completely vanished out of my head and I just sat there wondering if I should have actually clicked the "publish post" button that night. Well, a friend responded with a comment days later and I felt so much better! I'm glad I don't have to be perfect or pretend to be perfect.
Just so you know, that whole anger thing was all about me losing it with my 7 year old after he decided to FOLLOW his 5 year old brother up a mountain of packaged cases of bottled water in Sam's Club. Yup, pretty much as if he was playing King of the Mountain.
My immediate reaction is always, "What were you THINKING???!!!" That's a bad, bad, bad question to ask a child on the brink of the reason and logic stage of life. He will actually being to make an argument on the reasons why he should be able to climb a mountain of packaged cases of bottled water.
The consequence for the boys was losing their chance to eat lunch at Sam's. We had to immediately go home and eat - dum, dum, dummmmmm - peanut butter sandwiches again. That's a pretty reasonable consequence.
The new challenge for me is being able to hold my temper not only a) during the nutty thing they did, b) while calling them down in front of people who are staring at both me and my hoodlums, c) while talking them through the resulting consequence, and d) through the invariable uproar caused by the consequence; but also e) through the passionate presentation of a legal brief from my 7 year old who is deluding in thinking he is presenting his case to a high court. THAT was where I blew it. Sigh. I'm taking solace in the fact that I made it through the first 4 stages successfully.
Suddenly, my urgent thought completely vanished out of my head and I just sat there wondering if I should have actually clicked the "publish post" button that night. Well, a friend responded with a comment days later and I felt so much better! I'm glad I don't have to be perfect or pretend to be perfect.
Just so you know, that whole anger thing was all about me losing it with my 7 year old after he decided to FOLLOW his 5 year old brother up a mountain of packaged cases of bottled water in Sam's Club. Yup, pretty much as if he was playing King of the Mountain.
My immediate reaction is always, "What were you THINKING???!!!" That's a bad, bad, bad question to ask a child on the brink of the reason and logic stage of life. He will actually being to make an argument on the reasons why he should be able to climb a mountain of packaged cases of bottled water.
The consequence for the boys was losing their chance to eat lunch at Sam's. We had to immediately go home and eat - dum, dum, dummmmmm - peanut butter sandwiches again. That's a pretty reasonable consequence.
The new challenge for me is being able to hold my temper not only a) during the nutty thing they did, b) while calling them down in front of people who are staring at both me and my hoodlums, c) while talking them through the resulting consequence, and d) through the invariable uproar caused by the consequence; but also e) through the passionate presentation of a legal brief from my 7 year old who is deluding in thinking he is presenting his case to a high court. THAT was where I blew it. Sigh. I'm taking solace in the fact that I made it through the first 4 stages successfully.
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